Top 10 Rules: How Not to Succeed as an eBay Seller!

...or how to get your buyers really upset!

There are a plenty of guides of "how to succeed as an eBay seller." Some have a wealth of information. But none have the guide on how to fail. Andover has purchased 5000 items on eBay and we can confirm that while the vast majority of sellers are fine and decent people working to succeed, many seem to want to fail. Here are some interesting statistics:

• 10% of all "won" items can't be paid right away because the seller must "determine shipping". Sometimes that can take a week.
• 90% of the packages we receive do not have packaging slips: one has to guess who sent them via their shipping labels. In some cases, packages do not even have return or shipping labels.
• 10% end up in some kind of claim requiring photographs demonstrating poor packaging or missing parts or wrong item. We once got a pair of boots rather than a Cisco router
• 1/2 of the above are problems because they are counterfeit.

This is a guide for those, who knowingly or not, do not want to succeed on eBay.

BOOKMARK this page as the "How Not to Sell on eBay". If you have more rules, please send them our way! | | | |

Rule #10 - Don't package well

Lets face it, everyone hates spending fifteen minutes doing a job right when five minutes doing the job wrong will gain you plenty of frustrated, angry customers!

a. Use the wrong box size. Put your item in a box that is barely larger than the item or put it in a very large and don't use enough padding. Either way, if there is space for the item to move it will arrive broken.

b. Don't give the delicate parts of an item increased protection. For electronics, this means plastic bezels, hinges on firewalls, front display panels, etc.

c. Use single weight cardboard when double weight is really necessary. Heavy items need heavy weight cardboard.

Rule #9 - Sell dead items "as is", "untested"

Heck, you paid good money for that item. You were shocked to find out that you were had when you tested it. Why not sell it the same way it arrived to you?

a. State: "came from working environment" but that it is sold "as is", "no warranty". That will guarantee everyone will bid thinking it works.

b. As a Cisco network reseller, simply state "we have no ability to test this Cisco item".

Rule #8 - Don't answer complaint email

You've had a tough day and the last thing we need to deal with a complaint. Besides, if you don't respond to that email, chances are that the buyer will go away. Or even better, don't bother answering email.

Everyone knows that one of the great reasons why eBay is so difficult is that people ask questions. Solve the problem by not answering. Saves time!

Rule #7 - Ship without a packaging slip

Why tell the buyer who is shipping the item? Heck, that is what they would be expecting. Instead, ship from a mystery location without a tracking number.

Rule #6 - Ship through the US Post office

UPS, DHL, Fedex and most other major carriers will get a signature upon delivery. The Postman will walk right up to you, scan a package saying it is delivered and not bother with a signature. The postman can - possibly - deliver the item to his friend Bob or his car trunk and then mark the item delivered. There is no signature guarantee for 90% of the items delivered through the USPS. To quote a Postman we recently asked, "that is an extra cost!"

Lets see...use a bad box, do not include a packaging slip and ship through the USPS! Guaranteed formula for failure!

Rule #5 - Don't send a tracking number

Why give your buyers a way to track the progress of your shipment? Heck, they don't deserve it. Shroud your shipment in mystery! They will appreciate it far more getting it when they least expect it. Better yet, ship via the US Post office as their tracking numbers do not show progress. Their tracking numbers simply show "delivered" wherever the Postman decided to deliver it.

Rule #4 - Sell Counterfeit items

Be unknowledgeable of what is real and fake for the items you are selling. "They don't make counterfeits of the item I am selling." Better, know that it is counterfeit and use stock or company photos of the real item on your sales page.

The less you can claim to know in the listing, the better off you will be when someone points out that selling counterfeit is against the law.

Rule #3 - Take only paper payments - money orders, checks, etc.

Lets face it, electronic payments are danagerous and Paypal, while successfully managing billions of payments each day, is the enemy of the old traditional piece of paper check. The person can't "charge you back" for sending them the wrong item, dead item or bad item. You hold the upper ground.

Besides, everyone loves going to the post office to mail you the check.

Rule #2 - Don't ship the item even though you've been paid

You will ship it eventually. I mean, the buyer got a steal on the auction. You thought the item was worth $100 and the buyer won it at auction for $15. They probably did not need it anyway.

To really have fun with the buyer, wait til the buyer complains and then ship it via the US Post Office so that the postman can deliver it wherever he feels like delivering it.

and Rule #1 - Leave your buyer a negative if they complain about your incompetence

Ah, now that you have packaged poorly, sold counterfeit, took a check payment, and shipped late, you now have the ability to leave the buyer a negative if they complain or leave you a negative. Remember to also threaten a lawsuit in small claims court if they file a paypal claim against you!